Educating as A Way of Redemption
Looking back at my childhood photo album, I consider myself lucky to have loving parents and playful siblings. As vibrant as I remember it was, the photos show the typical setting of an Indonesian house in the early 2000s with colorful toys scattered everywhere on the floor. I would call myself a hypocrite if I claimed my parents did not try their best to nurture their children according to our characters.
As an African proverb says, “It takes a village to raise a child,” it is really important to give credit to the adults, teens, and children who were around me when I grew up. Some became my inspirations, some gave me challenges to overcome. Even without knowing, these people play some roles in shaping the person I am today.
In a conversation with my counselor two decades later, I realized how powerful an ecosystem of early childhood is to someone’s life. Walking down memory lane helped me to notice some behavior patterns I have today that were depicted from what I observed and received as a child.
- I keep asking people, “What can I pray for you?” because I grew up in a prayerful community.
- I often find myself energetic around new people due to my parents’ broad network — and they keep introducing new friends to me and my siblings almost every weekend.
One fact that bothers me is how feminine my early childhood environment was. I can count less than 10 adult males intentionally present in my childhood, and they do not interact as much as the females. However hard I try to recall, the scenes in my mind are mostly about female Sunday school teachers, female nurses, female kindergarten teachers, and female caregivers.
Where are the men?
Now as I have already been halfway through my 20s, I understand why men are not allowed to enter someone’s early childhood.
- Society expects men to be absent
Whether juggling between work to make ends meet, spending the night socializing with friends, or attending communal meetings, the time of a grown man is sucked up to meet society’s expectations. At least in my community, it is still uncommon to have an exclusive father-child moment if it wasn’t asked by the school or church. Asking some friends, they even felt awkward being with their father, not knowing what to talk about. If that’s the case for his children, how can you expect a grown man to spend time with someone else’s children as well? - The work system eliminates men in the early childhood setting
Teaching, caregiving, and interacting with young children are considered pink-collar jobs, hence the salary gap. Adult men who are expected to afford their families need to earn much more than what pink-collar jobs can offer. This comes from an understandable background. The high case of perpetrators being found among men builds a sense of distrust.
Little did we know, the absence of male figures in someone’s childhood might cause greater harm. Fatherlessness has been a rising issue for the past few years, impacting many. If we have the time and energy to deep dive into the hidden drivers of many crimes today, we might be surprised to see that the absence of men in their childhood plays a huge role.
Here’s the thing: men’s presence is equally important compared to women’s in someone’s development.
Although I cannot make radical reforms in our society today, this piece of writing is a commitment of mine to keep praying for the presence of more mature, well-rounded male figures to take part in shaping someone’s life, starting as early as kindergarten.
My goal is to bring more mature men into the early childhood realm, especially education. Showing the kids how different masculinity from femininity but still loving them the same is a necessity to me. In light of that dream, I envision a generation that would associate love with gentle, indescribable joy rather than the erotic moves that the world teaches today.
If you share the same vision as I am, let’s make our move. Contact me and more importantly, please pray for this.
